Self love and the road to happiness 

self love
How to practice self love, how to be more happy and how to live your life in a self-loving way.

In my first video I felt inspired to explain what self love means to me, why it is important, and I give tips about how I achieve happiness every single day and what I do to act in a self-loving way.

I give advice about:
– what I personally do every single day to be more happy
– how to meditate
– how to attain happiness
– why Yoga or any other form of body movement is useful
– how to deal with the things that distract us from being ourselves

Dare to be yourself! You are beautiful and unique in your own very special way. You are enough.


A little further explanation

Here are some things that I want to add after having posted this video a few days ago, and after I got some questions about it.

  • True self love has nothing to do with excluding people or putting your own worth higher than the worth of others – true self love is just being comfortable in your own skin. If you are happy with yourself, and if you accept yourself and the things you did / do – then you will shine from the inside and also shine this light upon others. To raise your own vibe doesn’t make other people shine less. You just add your brightest light to the rest, so we can shine together.
  • It’s a dangerous trap to mistake ‚a lot of self love‘ for ‚narcissism‘ or ‚vanity‘ – because the latter doesn’t come from a heartfelt space, but from a space where the own ego gets in your way and is too dominant. Self love isn’t being reckless towards other people – but egoism is. You don’t hurt anyone if you put yourself first – as long as others matter to you, you will instinctively and intuitively find a way to work with others and see if others might want to help you. Self reflection is the key word here.
  • Once you truly love yourself, you will also able to be open-minded and self-reflective, which means that ideally you’re able to accept critique with gratitude and to work with it. People who are willing to work on themselves usually are also more open to critique, as they don’t see it as offense, but as advice.
  • Excluding people from your life (e.g. friends) has nothing to do with pushing away people or avoiding to listen to their opinion. It’s all about the energy that you don’t want to hold on to any longer. Let me explain: we learn from every person we meet in our lives. Even from those people that we really don’t like or who have hurt us are in our lives for a reason. They are our teachers, our tasks and our challenges. They are very important people. But you need to find out what it is that they reflect of your own being, what it is that they want to show you about yourself – and usually these are always aspects of you, that you’re hiding or even unaware of. The first step would be to find out what it is that they want to teach you. Only after that you can let go of them. But sometimes we tend to hold on to these people or relationships, for whatever reason. If you can feel that this specific person drains you from your energy, then this might be an indication that you’ve kept this person too close for too long already. Once you’ve learned everything you need to learn, it is your task and own free will to let go – with a grateful attitude for everything they’ve taught you.
  • Sometimes, other people can be real energy suckers. Mostly they don’t do that consciously, but they’re still passive aggressive, moody, or even mean to you, and I bet that these kind of people don’t even know about that. These are the people that I’m talking about in the video. So in the first place they might show you some aspect of you that you’re unaware of. For example, do you keep hidden anger because of something in your life? Explore these thoughts. Treat these people like mirrors. And then dare to let them go. Don’t get attached to their negative energy (which can happen so easily!). Don’t let them tell you what you should our shouldn’t do. Don’t let them tell you what your capable of. Don’t let them kill your vibe. Let go of anything that pulls you down – even if it’s people. And also, let go with a grateful attitude.
  • Egoism can lead to isolation, but true self love can’t. If you act from a heartfelt space, anything you will have a ‘loving’ attitude in life. If it comes from heart and not from a space of ego, you might be on the right path to more happiness.
    Here you could always ask yourself this question: Why am I doing what I’m doing? Why am I really doing it? – Be honest!
  • Lastly: you attract the vibe that you send out. Let’s say, if you don’t love yourself at all, you hold this vibration in your being. And as the world around you always is a perfect mirror and match to your vibration, you will most likely also only attract people that confront you with your own shadows – over and over again, until you explore them. You might get involved in relationships where you’re not treated right, or you might end up in isolation because you’re afraid to get hurt.
    You’re ego also might get in the way here sometimes, to ‚prove‘ that you’re ‘worth’ something (because you might feel subconsciously worthless) and the ego needs recognition/approval from the outside. In this case one might be tempted to do egoistic things, to stop at nothing to get what he or she wants.
    Another example: if you envy someone, then this feeling just might want to show you the lack of something in your own life. And there’s nothing wrong with that! You just need to become aware of that and explore the reason for your reaction! Instead of getting anrgy, try to explore what it is that causes this feeling – e.g. if you envy someone for his or her success, then it might just shine a light on where you feel a lack. And therefore it shows you right the very thing that you want in life! So instead of getting trapped in this feeling of envy and hopelessness (in other words: instead of focussing on what you don’t want), try to focus on the very thing that you want, and let go of the bad feelings.


Here’s one example of a truly self loving act  that I’m still very proud of.

Soon I will upload more inspirational videos about this topic on my Youtube channel.


Let me know what you think about the video :)

Until the next time,


  1. I love this video! This post I feel is especially important because of the social media age we are living in. Everyone is so self absorbed and selfies everywhere. You are right vanity is not self love. I actually think it’s the opposite. Thank you for this insight post!

    • Elaine Valerie Reply

      Thank you so much Katherine! I’m really so happy to hear that you liked it.
      I totally agree: everybody’s so self absorbed and has to take selfies everywhere. Life itself comes a little bit short then… Its amazing that more and more people seem to understand the difference between vanity and self love! <3 I wish you a wonderful day :)

  2. Some really good advice on here! I really like the way your blog is set out with the video and the cool photos!

    • Elaine Valerie Reply

      Thank you so much for your kind words! <3 Your compliment really means a lot to me. All the best to you! :)

  3. This is so good! I’m a self development journey and I absolutely agree and relate this very useful tips you’ve outlined! I especially love the self love tip, once you truly love yourself, will also able to be open-minded and self-reflective, which means that ideally you’re able to accept critique with gratitude and to work with it – brilliantly said. Thanks for inspiring me x

    • Elaine Valerie Reply

      Hello Kamapala! Thank you very much, I really appreciate your comment. So true, It was something that I first started to understand on my active journey to self love: that you become more open minded and reflective. It’s like a whole new world started to open up once I realized that critique is nothing bad or too personal. Thank you for watching / reading this post!

  4. I absolutely love this post, the video, the photo, and the points you make. I agree that people might take focusing on yourself as being selfish but I believe that in order for you to be there for others and love them you should first be there for and love yourself.

    • Elaine Valerie Reply

      Thank you very much for your words, Xhorxhina! So happy that you liked it. There’s a fine line between self love and egoism, that’s what I tried to outline with this post. But I’m so excited, that more and more people seem to understand that there’s a difference. I feel like there’s a whole community dedicated to ‘open up to self love’, growing more and stronger everyday, and it’s wonderful! And I totally agree with you. In order to be able to be there for others, you need to take care of yourself first. I wish you a beautiful day :)

  5. Thank you for sharing these words of truth! You last point about attracting others – is o true. Like attracts like! Truly loving oneself can be the source for real happiness and freedom. Amazing video, beautiful words. Great job!

    • Elaine Valerie Reply

      Hello Evelyn, I thank you so much for your beautiful words. They really mean so very much to me. Have a wonderful day! <3

    • Elaine Valerie Reply

      I agree totally! We should use the time that we’ve got and spend it in the best way possible. All the best wishes to you! :)

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