Women should support each other. Women should stop picking on each other. That’s what repeatedly came to my mind during the last few weeks.
Most recently I saw a blogpost by a fellow blogger and there was a girl commenting on her shoes ‚Your shoes are so ugly.‘ Or: ‘Your makeup looks horrible.’
Why commenting something like that?
It doesn’t help anyone.
Why the ugly comments
What’s the point of being rude and writing ugly comments?
I don’t get it. Everyone has his or her own opinion, I understand that, and it’s completely fine. Constructive critique is always ok, but why do people need to be rude and mean?
Or which woman doesn’t know that feeling when your entering a room and another woman looks at you in a very hostile way. Is it envy, jealousy, boredom or general resentment of the other?
I even once knew a girl who picked on me behind my back for months, and when I asked her directly what it’s all about, she told me that she doesn’t like me because of my body shape. This left me in speechless wonder.
Or I once read the comment by a girl under one of my photos: „That’s sick, being so narcissistic to post so many photos of yourself.“ Yep. Shame on me. Sorry that you decided to have to look through my feed.
Envy is also a serious obstacle, like that one time I heard a fellow model say about me with me hearing it before a runway show: ‘Why is she the one to wear this dress? Her ass looks fat in it. It would look better on me.’
Isn’t it awful, how women treat each other sometimes? Why all these unnecessary bitchfights?
We are all so different. Everyone has his or her own dreams, life path, wishes, goals, visions and definition of style and beauty – but after all we all want the same: love, support, happiness, joy.
Why don’t we simply stand together to give each other what we all want instead of competing all the time?
Maybe some women are dealing with a low self esteem (some without even knowing it), who value themselves as ‚less‘, or who feel that it’s weakness if they admit that other women are beautiful, too, – or worse: think that someone else is more beautiful than they feel themselves.
Maybe it’s about something else that I don’t know about yet, but it’s been bothering me – more so, making me sad. Sad, because I’d rather live in a world with happy people and women full of self confidence around me (and I guess I’m not alone with that wish).
Long way to go
A few weeks ago, when I wrote about all the #metoo happenings in the world, I had the feeling that women finally stood together for a little while: we were feeling for each other, knowing that we’re all in the same boat and that we have the ability to stand together – but there’s still a long way to go.
I mean seriously. Come on. Let’s stand together. We are women. The creative, supportive and nurturing force of the world.
Beauty isn’t about makeup or clothes. You can wear no makeup or don’t shave your armpits at all, yet still be the most beautiful being on earth. It’s the inside that makes us shine. If you stand up for yourself first, and acknowledge your own beauty – however that might look to you – it’s the first step in the right direction. Because when we’re confident and content with ourselves, then we can open up to the beauty and difference of others as well.
I don’t say that it’s easy to do that. But I say that instead of picking on or fighting against others, let’s appreciate the uniqueness of us all.
Let’s support each other
Just as a little example: we women all have our periods every month and then we tend to become more cranky, moody and sometimes also are in pain because of that. This can be a reason for the bad mood, too – I know very well.
When I’m in that phase my besties usually know immediately and tend to say ‚Ah, it’s that time of the month. I get you. Here’s a piece of chocolate for you.‘ – isn’t that wonderful? I mean, isn’t that the kind of support that we’re all looking and wishing for? :)
One thing that I’ve been trying to do more often during the past few years has been giving compliments to other women. Even to strangers. When I think something is beautiful about someone else, I personally go and tell her. It’s obvious that people are not used to that, but in the end I always received an honest smile so far, and it makes me happy that I could light up their world at least for a little moment on that day.
That’s the little piece of ‚giving back‘ that I can give to the world.
I personally think it’s wonderful when women come up to me and say to me with honest words: ‚ I like what you just said/wrote. I like your attitude. I think you are beautiful. I like your dress. Your hair looks beautiful today. Even with no makeup you look stunning.‘
Because it takes courage to walk up to someone else and do this. For nothing. Not wanting anything back in return. And there’s really no big deal in doing so. Instead it’s a wonderful kind of support. And as a plus: supporting / acknowledging each other makes us smile, helps raising the vibe and simply feels good.
And when I don’t like something about someone else – well, I guess that’s my own, personal problem. I don’t need to let them know about it in a rude way to make myself feel better.
There already is lots of support
But after all, I also read many sweet and supportive comments on social media platforms, too – on mine but also on other women’s profiles – which makes me very happy. After all, there already is lots of support and appreciation around in the world out there.
Let’s keep it up, ladies :)
Ugly comments and trolls will always be out there, and I guess it’s just another topic that needs more awareness and to be talked about.
We’re all sisters
To sum up today’s blog post, I simply want to encourage my fellow human females on this planet:
- Be kind to each other. Always.
- Give compliments and really mean them.
- Share your supportive thoughts.
- Stop bullying. It doesn’t make anyone more happy.
- Let’s all be a little more friendly, polite and honest to each other, and we can all participate in making the world a little better each day.
- We are all different – but let’s be sisters who stand together. We’re all connected through blood, our pursuit of happiness, and our unique, individual beauty.
This virtual hug goes out to all women today!
(This post was originally published on The Vintage Romance on December 7th 2017)